What’s this about?

The purpose of this space is to give women who need to tell their stories a safe place to share them anonymously, to support others with similar stories, and to learn from them how to become whole human beings after years of thinking of themselves as half of a couple. Strong women make a kinder, gentler, stronger world. Having a spouse or partner to share one’s life is a wonderful thing, but when that partnership breaks, a woman is usually lonely and confused. The lucky ones have strong mothers, sisters, and friends who love and support them, but sometimes it is hard to tell lifetime confidantes about a failure in one of life’s major endeavors.

When my twenty-year marriage ended abruptly a number of years ago, I needed to talk about it, but my identity was so tied up with that marriage and our family, I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone who knew us, and by that time, most of the people closest to me knew US more than they knew ME because I had been quite content to idenfity primarily as someone’s wife, even though I had a rewarding career as a teacher. I was a wife with a job, not a career woman who happened to be married. My mother had been dead for almost as long as I had been married. My sister was very young with a family of her own, and she had seen my husband as a father figure when she went through a difficult time. Many friends saw us as a role-model couple, and I was too proud to confide in any of them. Others were “couple friends” with whom we socialized together.

I reached out to a person I hardly knew, and in her I found a lifelong friend who listens to my stories without judging, and shares stories of her own. Once I opened my heart and overcame my pride, I found that I was far from alone. A group of friends came together. We were at various stages and were having different degrees of success in becoming self-sufficient, confident human beings. Many of us were learning to be single mothers on top of everything else we had to get used to.

If you want to share a story, or even if you just want to tell it but you’re not ready to make it public, even anonymously, send it to malesh42@hotmail.com  I will reply, and dialogue with you about what to do with your story, based on what you tell me.